Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentines Day You Goose

I've never seen the point of Valentine's Day. Not once. Growing up the day just made me feel foul as I was a perennially spotty single bastard. I'd see the girls I wanted to know going weak at the knees at people who I'm sure grew up to be either dead, in jail or DV perpetrators. As I got older it made even less sense. It still makes no sense to me, so go ahead and explain it if you want.

I know that the florists love the day, as do the idiots that make those sappy cards or send in the utterly laughable and barely literate text messages like, "baby, im gonna fall 4 U tonite", or, "fee the luv we make is equal to the luv we take so baby let me bang your box luv Reg" to the various morning television shows. There'd be a pile of people cleaning up today and I suppose good on them. However if people are that insecure in their own relationships that they actually need a day in which to be reminded that it's a good idea to express their feelings and be affectionate, then God help them. For their relationships are already doomed and they need some serious help. For me Valentines Day would be better served if it was devoted to people declaring feelings of lust for people they normally wouldn't approach. Guess that isn't going to happen.

So Happy Valentines Day. Give your significant other something they'll remember on Valentines day, like an Angry Pirate or a Dirty Sanchez. Ya know, that's not a bad idea...I think I'll wait for the missus to get home tonight and really surprise her.

2 comments:

plok said...

I saw on the History Channel that the reason our "hearts" are that weird shape is because it was the shape of a seed that used to grow on an island in the Mediterranean -- and it was a good natural contraceptive, by all acounts much better than the ones we have left today.

Is it true? I'd like to think so: that would mean the hidden symbolic meaning of the Valentine heart is a lot more earthy than it appears.

closeofplay said...

Couldn't agree with you more about Valentine's Day.
For those of you don't know what a Dirty Sanchez is...
http://ladderedstockings.blogspot.com/2008/02/dirty-sanchez.html