Thursday, December 28, 2006


Recently I was asked why don't we have FoxTel? I mean it';s not like we don't like our idiot box here and we did rush out and buy a digital set-top box just so we could access the extra Channel for Channel 2. So why no pay TV? Well here's your answer.

When we moved into this place one of the first things we decided to do was to get some form of pay TV. I noticed that there was a FoxTel plug in the lounge room and some cables coming from the roof, so, naturally, I thought, "Hmmmm best ring FoxTel then." Sounds easy and simple? You'd think that wouldn't ya. I phoned FoxTel and this was the conversation:

ME: "I'd like to get FoxTel installed please."
FOXTEL: "Well we'd have to check to see if your unit is able to be wired."
ME: "I'm pretty sure it is."
FOXTEL: "Why?"
ME: "There's a bloody great dish on the roof and a thick black cable coming down the side of the house, with 'FOXTEL' written on it. The cable then goes into the lounge room."
FOXTEL: "No there isn't."
ME: "Yes there is. I'm looking at it now."
FOXTEL: "You can't be."
ME: "But I am."
FOXTEL: "According to our records your unit isn't able to be wired. We'd have to send our technical people to lay the wires and install the plugs. There would be a fee associated with this service."
ME: "Of course there would be a fee. However the wires are already here. There's even a wall plug in the lounge-room that clearly says, 'FOXTEL' complete with the trademark logo."
FOXTEL: "No, those things are not there."
ME: "Would you like me to send you a bloody photo? I'm looking at it!!"
FOXTEL: "Well my computer says you can't be."
ME: "Screw your computer. My EYES say I am."
FOXTEL: "It's impossible. Perhaps you're looking at someone else's installation?"
ME: "I doubt it. I'm in my own house."
FOXTEL: "Well we can't take your word for it because you might not know what you're looking at so we'd have to check it ourselves."
ME: "You're welcome to do that."
FOXTEL: "There would be a fee associated with that. When can I book you in so that our technician come out and look?"
ME: "A fee? But of course! Nah, look, forget it. If you idiots can't remember where you've installed your cables then I doubt your service would be any good."

And so on. Needless to say we don't have FoxTel. We do have the cables and the dish though. Now I'll freely admit I'm not a cable guy, but can someone look at those photos and tell me - are we wired for FoxTel or not? Mind you if someone wants the cables and connections then they're welcome to them, otherwise if someone has a way that we can hook it all up and see if it works, by all means fire me down an email.


Foilwoman said...

Just plug it in and see if it works. Worked for me.

Danny said...

I would if I had the box it all plugs into.

Ms Smack said...

Danny. Suggest you make contact with an electrician, stat. He'll help you out. I will no longer be staying at the SEBEL PLAYFORD, or sending my clients there, or arranging functions there. I also will not be installing foxtel. I hate that crap