Wednesday, June 28, 2006

The Return Of Lunchtime O'Booze*

Ahhhhh the things that the media here just won't report. I'm not exactly sure why they won't, but hey, if I cloud it enough then I'll be able to tell you. Just little juicy tidbits though, get the juices flowing and remember - ask the questions, get the answers.

Without any further adieu, here's the dreaded Return of Lunchtime O'Booze:

*TING* Round Two in the Dinner Battle between the Bikers and the MCS kicked off last week. A clear win to the MCS, and a few arrests took place. Round Three is eagerly awaited. Steer clear of diners with Pig descriptions in the title.

*TING* What former high profile (and borderline crazy) MP was driving in his car over the weekend? Well, he wasn't driving, he was a passenger in the car driven by a family member. They got pulled over and said family member (driver) blew over the .05 booze limit. Said former MP then got out of the car, opened the wallet and asked the fuzz if a few hundred dollars would sort the whole affair out. The answer was nope, and charges to be laid. Why the local rag won't pick this one up is beyond me because they're reported every other bad move this idiot has made, but none of the good, if indeed there are any. You do know the guy - he's not wasting time in the house anymore, but when he was, well, let's just say his views were widely reported - and it's not the recently politically assassinated Mark Brimble, although is an amusing twist, one of the people who helped in that assassination is this guy. I ADORE moral crusaders!!!

*AMUSEMENT OF THE MONTH* Hell, of the DECADE!!! Morals crusader, MP Trish Draper, has successfully petitioned Federal Parliament to remove Big Brother Uncut from the idiot box. I can't be buggered watching it but you have to appeal to the lowest common denominator. It's amusing to say the least because when she's not out there stumping around to remove some flashes of skin from the TV, well we all know what she gets up to. Just ask her husband, who she left behind to take her photographer lover over to Paris on the taxpayers coin (over $10,000 worth of sightseeing, fun and food), so she could wine and dine him at a very expensive Parisian eatery. You paid for that dinner, Trish didn't. Word is he's got some lovely photos, which would explain why he hasn't been pulled up for the crime he's alleged to have done.

Good ole Trish. Keep the tits off the TV but keep suspected murders firmly in your bed. Gotta love trish, although her official site makes no mention of her photogenic lover. Perhaps a movie can be made; The MP, Her Lover, The Model & Her Murder. It'd be a scream!

More to come, but that'll do you for now. Remember, hit those links and learn!
* Lunchtime O'Booze. Great name, better description. Private Eye, when Peter Cook did the odd bit for it, invented Lunchtime O'Booze as the archetypal drunken journalist that we all are. Many a person world-wide has used the name/title to break stories they couldn't otherwise print.

During my time at the ABC I came back to the offices staggering after a damn fine wine/cheese affair and after throwing up in the potted plants outside was given the label. Remember kids, Penfolds and Cheddar don't mix wel, although it did make for one of the more interest Street Pizza Designs I've seen. Took ages to wash that out. The best part is that under that name I've revealed a fair few stories in my time, including Draper way back when (stupidly I think I deleted the post, but I'm sure a few people remember seeing it). Back in the ABC days Lunchtime exposed that a certain (former) high profile Nazi and anti-immigration crusader was actually born on a boat as his mother came into Australia, you guessed it, illegally. Said mother was still an illegal immigrant when Lunchtime broke the story and it resulted in her nearly being shipped back to whence she sprang. Now the guy is just your average, run of the mill Nazi bully boy. That got a few death threats in it's time, but damn it was fun!

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