Wednesday, April 05, 2006

No Fun

Well I'm still alive, albeit barely at times. I can't remember when I've had an infection run through me as violently as this one has - it's trimmed a lot of the suet from my porky body in a mere few days, making me slimmer than I've been in years, but at what cost. I can barely raise the energy to type, I've not been at work since Thursday morning and I've done nothing here other than wash sheets since then. It's an effort to even type these words, but hey - that's life!

I'm a poor patient for many reasons. I like to know what's going on and it upsets me when the doctors just take a quick look and say, "Well that's me licked!" Oh great. Hurray for medical advances. At least we've seen the same doctor now more than once and he's actually giving me the horse pills (Clavulin Duo Forte) and something that'll help my breasts grow all perky (Prednisolone). Fortunately I'm eventually going to marry a chemist and she already knows what a certain drug is going to do to my body before it's had time to ease down the gullet. I think that the original cocktail of drugs I took late last week only made things worse, but hey - they don't know what it is so who the hell's gonna know? Even Dr Nick's best advice? "Stay the fuck away from me man!" However he did agree that my doctor was probably an idiot and two Panadol every four hours wasn't going to cure anything.

I knew I was in poor shape when we ran into Chadwick. We were walking (in my case, a cross between a stagger and a shuffle) to the chemist to get the latest drugs, Chadwick was emerging from the Norwood cinema with Milt, Mel and some other guy who's name escapes me. Some may not believe this but I guess I looked so bad that Chade was stunned into a subdued silence of kinds. Not his usual rapid fire nonsense, especially as he'd have been excited from just seeing V For Vendetta, just a soft, "Oh Christ, man, you alright?" Looking all the world like a stunned mullet, he wandered off for coffee. At least Milt and Mel had the damn good sense to hang back - good move guys, you don't want this at all.

So where does it all leave me? Sitting at home bored to tears. I'm tired of watching the Ellen DeGenerete Show, followed up by Oprah doing her phat thang. Daytime TV is the living pits. Bring back Springer I say! Now there was quality entertainment. Hopefully I'd have kicked this by Friday - the fact that I'm able to write this tells me I'm improving (I don't think that work are too impressed with me, but that's life and I'm ready to quit anyway) and if I'm up at around 70% on Monday I'll be happy.

Until then, please allow me to excuse myself so I can cough up yet another lung and associated phlegm.


Gothqueen said...

Awww come on, Oprah was mildly interesting, for a change. & weren't you facinated by what you could cook with an asian lettuce & golden syrup in Ready, Steady Cook? What a stupid show that is!!!

Foilwoman said...

Poor baby. I'm thinking GQ has been too easy on you. Now it's time for some "Get well or die" action. Kick him out of bed, chemist-girl.

Seriously, I hope you feel better. But on no account are you permitted to make Mr. Eglinton, the Pope, TduCN, or BJ sick. They post much more infrequently than I do anyway, and I like to read new stuff in their blogs. So get well soon.

pookie31 said...

Give me Doctor Phil. Makes me feel so much better :)

Bronze John said...

My sympathies (he says, from tens of kilometers away). Big viral things feel like crap. You take fifteen minutes to walk from one side of the room to another, you sweat like a ... thing that sweats, all that kind of stuff.

If it's any comfort, and it won't be, the aches and pains and fevers and sweats are your body actually fighting off the virus. That's why they used to give malaria to people who had syphilis - the high fevers from the malaria helped them fight off their syphilis.

The antibiotics mean you might get a bit of diarrhoea too. Hope you've got an ensuite.

Seriously, paracetamol and fluids and rest and vitamins are probably your best choice out of a number of fairly unimpressive alternatives.

We've got Firefly on disc if you want it, I can drop it off today/Saturday. You might need this, too: