Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Blame Chadwick, Not Me!

Ok, surfing because I'm bored. Why am I bored? It's not because I haven't got work to do - Gawd knows I have enough. I have a book to finish, a site to help re-design, people to upset on forums and mailing lists and I have to be awake tomorrow at about 6am to phone Terry Austin and have a chat that'll last til 10am (Christ I'm a name dropping bastard today).

So on my bored surfing (or should that be avoidance surfing?) I found that my dear ol' pal Chad has posted one of those question/answer things and wants me to do it. The bastard. I swear, next time I see him I'm gonna really pick my nose and flick it into the nachos, as opposed to just telling him I did.

Without any further ado, here we go. If any of this either doesn't make sense, or you want clarification, then just fire away.
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7 things I plan to do before I die

1: Write a novel and get it published.
2. Appear in a major motion picture with an Oscar winner. (I'm halfway there, as I once had a walk on in a TV series called The Henderson Kids alongside Nadine Garner, Ben Mendelsohn and Kylie Minogue - watch for it in syndication. Some curly red headed girl was there at the same time (it was filmed in the Burke Street Cinemas) who also walked past the trio on the stairs - I said hello because she was kinda cute. If only I'd known I could have been Mr Nicole Kidman! So that was a TV appearance with Kidman and Minogue - that's better than most of you).
3. Declare world peace. Seriously.
4. Run for parliment and get elected.
5. Beat the living shit out of Kyle Sandilands while screaming 'Puth'.
6. Get on stage and sing my favourite songs - What A Wonderful World, Night And Day, Unchained Melody, Love Me (by the Phantom), When The Devil Went Down To Georgia, any Sinatra or Dean Martin song, selected tunes from Billy Idol and Mojo Nixon, anything from the Booth & The Bad Angel album (the best album ever), Highway Star, Walk On, any big band or jazz track, When The Leeve Breaks or How Soon Is Now?
7. Grow old, gracefully or otherwise, and then ascend.
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7 things I cannot do
(but, but I am the Lizard King, I can do ANYTHING!)
1. The Chicken Dance. Out of principal.
2. Tolerate idiocy or those smarmy bastards who sling shit and then cry when you fight back - if you don't start any there won't be any!
3. Play guitar. Really, I'm worse than horrid.
4. Write. Seriously, I cannot write to save my life. I know I can do better.
5. Save some people from themselves.
6. Be permanently happy. Too many people are sad, so for me to be happy all the time would mean to ignore the woes of the world and just not give a rats. Despite appearances to the contrary, I just can't do it.
7. Be as much of a failure as people want(ed) me to be.
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7 things that attract me to the same (or opposite) sex
1. Intelligence
2. Literacy
3. Looks (awww crap, that's shallow)
4. Personality
5. Compatibility
6. Humour
7. Sensuality
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7 things that I say most often
(Well this week it'd be)
1. Well bring it on bitch
2. Huggles
3. Windebanks
4. You touch that one more time and I'm gonna rip your frigging head off
5. You answer it, I can't be bothered
6. Say what?
7. Well if you think you're good enough come and get it
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7 celebrity crushes
(Too easy - everyone knows this anyway)
1. Belinda Carlise
2. Kate Bush
3. Tori Amos
4. Liam Neeson
6. David Bowie
7. Yvonne Craig (but only in her Batgirl suit - mmmeeeeooooowwwwwwwwwww)
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7 people I want to do this
1. The missus
2. Mah pal Michelle
3. Tobias
4. Norm Breyfogle
5. The Goat
6. Sharn
7. I was gonna say Chad, but he's already done it, so I'll go with... everyone else!

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There it is, be gentle.

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